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My lady no.8- Marietta de Castro

Have you fall in love with the same person who you haven’t seen for many years?

Have you found the one that get away and re-connected?

It was a mixed emotion of love, excitement and hoping… What if?

It’s been awhile I did not feature any lady beyond fifty aka beauty beyond fifty. Hence, it’s a month of love, I would like to share a glimpsed of love story of my lady no.8, Marietta de Castro – Mayette ,as we fondly call her.. is my high school classmate and best friend way back in 70’s. I know in your head, your counting our age hahahaha! To spare your mind thinking, She is 58 years old.

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Mayette is one of our top ten students in High school.Like everyone else, after HS grad, each one went on separate ways, though we were able to connect at one time when we were in College, that was my first and last time I saw her with her then boyfriend Paul.

Fast forward, I saw her again after four years, me as a registered nurse but recently enrolled in UE college of Dentistry and OMG! She was pregnant!Her first born was my first godson but I never had a chance to really re-connect. I got pre-occupied with my studies and she as a young mom. And guess what? I got married too and went abroad. We got reconnected at our HS reunion. So the next thing we knew, I am working as a Dentist with two sons and she, as a business lady with 3 children! Wow!

Guess what? I saw her again after so many years, children were all grown up, my first godson died, she recently separated from her husband and my marriage was also on the rocks. What a coincidence! Though our living condition is different, our path seems to cross every four years with such drama that we re-connect as if we just saw each other yesterday.

So here’s the interesting love story of 2018, Paul her college boyfriend, went to USA and remained single all these years. Last year, they re-connected through Facebook and what comes next is a wonderful sparks that was put on hold and re-opened.

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Though Mayette has been separated and her marriage was not registered and did not co-exist, in Philippines, once you are married and not annulled, you are still considered married. (rolling my eyes up and away) hypocrisy isn’t it?

However, fate as its own way, her then husband died of cancer and so mayette is now legally single – widowed.

I know, your guess is right! Paul came to Philippines and got engaged with our lady in red, Mayette. 🙂 wow!

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I will save the love story in the next chapter..

For now, I like to make a toast for you Mayette, may this be the beginning of your happy journey and I know what ever obstacle you may encounter will just be an icing on the cake for you, having suffered so many mishap, this journey will be bounded and guarded with love. My best wishes to you and Paul.

Happy Valentines day!

Cheers,

Jamilamimi@beautybeyondfifty

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2017

tulip-83aIt’s been quite awhile I haven’t published any blog, I thank my followers and readers who patiently waited and kept sending me letters to ask how am I doing. Thank you!

The previous months after my birthday was indeed busy tortuous months. I could not bring an inspiration to write, I froze!

I know this too will pass and everything will be back to normal.Let us count the blessing we received for the past years and we move forward to year 2017 and the years to come.

Let us not forget the people who were not able to celebrate new year with a bang! Let us not forget the years we received blessings. Let us not forget we are human who makes mistakes and uttered some words that may hurt others but really doesn’t mean it.Let us not forget the material possessions we have are only a fraction of what we should be wishing this year.

Let us remember the love and respect we have given and received, to continue to work on the matter that is important and not the superficial things we acquire and require to get the happiness that we think will suffice our life.

Let us pray for kindness, peace and love to everyone.

2017 beginning is tough but I am ready for you!

#thank you Lord.

cheers,

Jamilamimi

And the adventures continues…

After spending sixteen (16) years in Jeddah, KSA,three (3) years in Lucern, Brig, Le Bouveret,Switzerland, six(6) months in Dubai, UAE and one (1) year in LA, California USA, my nomadic Chef Kevin will try to woo Asia. While his brother Edge, the photographer will have another year in USA.

And the adventures continues..keep on dreaming..keep reaching your goal and soon it will be a reality.

Now, you have graduated both and ready to venture at your own, I thought I could have relax  🙂   but no! It’s another chapter, another adventure, another excitement and more prayers.

Thank you Lord for your guidance.

Thank you for the precious gift of having two sons

Thank you for the gift of strength and  wisdom

Thank you for your protection 

Once again …

Lord, I release them to you to care for and protect

I pray that you would give the same guidance and direction

May they turn to you Lord for all decisions so that they will not make poor choices.

Help them to see the treasures of wisdom and knowledge through You.

May the glorious power be with you all.

Amen.

I wish you Kevs and Edge the best adventures, to have a happy and peaceful life. I know it will be more difficult than easy but don’t worry,you are equipped with knowledge and skills that will give you a push and find your way to success.

Remember, even though you are a citizens of the world, your home is in my heart. Though we may not be physically together,our love will connects us. Sooner or later we will see each other again. Take good care of your health. We have a lot of exploration ahead of us.

God bless.

I love you both!

Cheers and kisses,

mom

Valentine’s date.. for fifty and beyond

Happy Valentines everyone! Getting ready for your date? At age 56, I still think of having a date on Valentines day,..hmm, don’t roll your eyes on me! why not?

because…

… because… because..

See, I can’t think of a reason..hahaha

Well, have you been in love? Isn’t it the best feeling? Remember your first date? the impeccable rhythm of heart beat, the sweaty and cold hands, tantalising eyes and the never ending smile. Would it be nice, if you still feel the same way, long years after you get married?

yeah, you’re right! We became too familiar to each other that romance was like..hello and goodbye. The flowers became an ornament, an obligation to give because it’s Valentine’s day,my guess.. everyone will be posting their flowers and gifts on Facebook. you’re smiling..I know but it’s true..selfie with my Valentino/a..or selfie with my love or thank you love.Ahh..we just wished everyday is a Valentines day!

I think, that’s the missing part in a relationship..the “beyond” the giving, the attention and the courtship. We sometimes forget to set aside a day to celebrate and appreciate each other.Flowers and chocolate means nothing after a day, it will dry and we can eat a box of chocolates in few minutes.

What do you think beautybeyondfifty?

Well, I would love to celebrate this special day not necessarily on Feb. 14 , it can be before ,during or after. I would like to feel special, be appreciated. I don’t need flowers, though jewellery is an option (hahaha) ice cream over chocolate 🙂 cold pizza over hamburger 🙂 kidding aside..the best gift is TIME. yes, time to each other without being pushed or obligated to sit and talk. Perhaps a walk on the beach or park either sunrise or sunset, reminiscing the moments of togetherness, no calls, no work ..just “US”.

Puff! ..it’s only a wish! 🙂

Well, ladies, so much about having date, here are few Valentines posing tips for you!

1- lean forward, pull the chin forward to avoid a little bit of flabby fat under the chin.

2) Lift the arm to make it smaller;turn the shoulder, don’t face the camera head-on, this will create a bigger body.

And for those who are alone on Valentine’s Day, have a “me” time, go and pampered yourself, have a spa ,do your hair and nails or watch movie with ice cream and popcorn on the sides. Remember this day will also pass so enjoy it!

Cheers,

Jamilamimi

Dress: Banana Republic

Shoes: Primadonna

 

Perplexed: legal separation, Annulment ,Divorce in the Philippines..What is the difference?

IMG_0156Philippines to date is the last country in the world that does not allow divorce. So why is it included in the questionnaire when you are applying to renew Philippine passport?

Civil status: () single () married () widower ()legally separated () Annulled () Divorced

Probably for those who has dual citizens? Maybe..

What about those who are separated for awhile? My search for an answer brought up more questions.

A perplexed reader..

The Family Code grants spouses equal rights, gives dual authority to parents in the family and provides for special protection for children in case either parent remarries.Strong Catholic grounding and the Filipinos’ reverence for family life discouraged the implementation of divorce laws in the Philippines.

Equal rights?

Is it equal rights, when your husband or wife commits adultery or concubinage ? when there’s only one who provides? When there’s a double standard like it’s alright for a man to have extra-marital affairs and for a woman a “no-no”? How about when one is abusive either orally or physically?

What about for those Filipinos who were divorced by alien spouse? Does the law applies to them because they are Filipino Citizen?

Special protection?

in case either parent remarries? and if not ? who should be responsible? Isn’t it if you are responsible parent or a human being for that matter, you know these are your children, no one should impose on you whether to support them or not, It is  a GIVEN matter, a parent should economically, morally responsible to their children.

Article 1 of the Family Code defines marriage as “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. 

Permanent? Who says so? huh! legal separation..Annulment..Divorced..

Don’t get me wrong, I am a supporter of strong marriages, I would like my sons to marry .. praying it will last forever not because of the law but because it’s their choice to stay together happily and both believed in the sanctity of marriage.

Equal rights?? again!

If you have rights to enter into a contract, you also have the right to get out of it!

The essential marital obligations referred to in Article 36 are those enumerated under Articles 68-71, 220, 221 and 225 of the Family Code. These articles provide for the obligation of spouses to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity and render mutual help and support.

mutual love ,respect and fidelity..mutual help and support

meaning, when one does not oblige the contract is null and void?

and this one made me laugh..lol! pa more 🙂

legal separation  – is a relative divorce meaning? allows only the separation of spouses from bed and board and does not dissolve the marriage bonds.

bed and board? you must be kidding!

what about the children?

Support is the obligation between spouses and their children. In the Philippines,however, as in perhaps other Oriental countries, filial obligation demands that children support their parents in their old age.

meaning, when one parent doesn’t support the children, the marriage contract is also null and void? what about in old age? how can you accept support from your children if you yourself broke the law?

and here’s the thing.. the usual cause of breakdown of marriage – infidelity and irreconcilable differences – don’t count as a basis for annulment, as for legal separation, the ‘psychological incapacity’ is a very vague description to begin with. Not only the basis is so complex but the process of the procedure in itself is so expensive that poor people can not afford. Again, family code..where is equal rights? if only the rich and influential people can have it.

and what about the OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) who for economic reasons left behind their families to support them only to find out later on, that the hard -earned money was used by the husband/wife to his new girl/boyfriend or to support extended families back home, is this right?

Is it practical to spend PhP 150K – 300K for annulment? This amount can already be used by your children on their future or to your future for the children to be free of economic burden when you reach old age.

Now, what was the topic again? legal separation,annulment,divorce..differences ? ah yes!

Don’t you think it is all the same? dissolve the bond? In the first place in my opinion, if two people constantly disagree and disrespectful of each other, the sanctity of marriage is gone in their heart and only remains in the paper. For what? as a status symbol? What is marriage when one doesn’t comply to his/her obligations. Where is the sanctity when you committed a sin against your spouse?

Ladies, let me understand why no Divorce in Philippines?

Jamilamimi

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Forty years and counting..How do I love thee

Nowadays where  separation, annulment and divorce are very common, being together for forty years is definitely a call for a great celebration.This coming Friday, my friend will celebrate their Ruby Wedding Anniversary.

carrying the picture of their renewed vow on 25th year of marriage

carrying the picture of their renewed vow on 25th year of marriage

Amazingly Wow and cool! How they made it? I am glad I had the opportunity to pre shots the couple and did some funny chit-chats while having the shoots 🙂 how nosy hahaha! Actually, I am more interested to ask the husband than the wife. Why? Because I am a woman, 80% I would know her answer 🙂 Really? (double wink)

now you know why they stay together hehehe

now you know why they stay together hehehe

Please share your secret? 

There’s no secret, my motto ..”Less talk, less mistake”..an eight years gap between us, She was only turning 18 when I fell in love, I am older so I should understand. I kept my one ear open and one ear closed.

Does it make sense? I thought being transparent will lead to a better communication?

When you open one ear, it means you are listening to what she was saying..but to close one ear is to let go of simple things that will lead to argument.

What you think is your best attitude that contributes to keep up your relationship?

Matiisin ako at matapang naman siya ( I am patient and she is strong ) at this point, my other friends joined in and we burst into laughter.

Well, I guess that’s the secret ingredient – Fire and water- There was a lot of opinions on the table but this particular blog is for them, so let’s ask the wife 😉

What advise you can give to other women or to your daughter to keep their marriage last?

For me, I think the wife should make sure the house is clean and organised, the food is ready when the husband comes from work and wife should look good as well. Not because you are working at home, taking care of children and the house, you will neglect yourself. The wife should maintain her beauty as well.

I agree but what about the career woman/wife, I don’t think they will have enough time to do all the house hold chores?

Rolly, even though he is the only one working, he helps me at home, there is division of labor.

Yes, I agree (Rolly said, looking at his beautiful wife) It’s good to come home from work, the house is clean and the food is ready and my wife too (wink) She is always beautiful in my eyes 🙂

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What about finances? do you have any problem as to where the money should or shouldn’t go? Well, Filipino families are always extended, relatives will be asking for help at times.

My wife always do the budgeting, I provide and she spend it hahahaha Kidding aside, we don’t spend money beyond our capability. We don’t borrow from others to help our extended family. In case of emergency, we do help but when someone needs to buy something, we talk about it. 

Hmm that’s another secret of lasting marriage, no one keeps secret of financial affairs 🙂 and of course no extra-marital affairs!

we keep each other's secret

we keep each other’s secret

Ladies, I would love to share more of our chit-chat but my senior moments has come and I couldn’t remember all, so just enjoy our photo shoots and good luck to your marriage.

5 loving children

5 children

govs and lyn2

beautybeyondfifty bridesmaid

beautybeyondfifty bridesmaid

And for those who got separated, annulled or divorced, don’t be sad, you too had a successful marriage before it ended 😉 Another man or woman will come along, happiness is just right at the corner. Believed and it will happen.

Cheers!

jamilamimi

My Lady no. 7 – Sophie Defensor- Victoria

so3aI lost two kilo in ten days and when my best friend came for a short holiday, I regained it in two days hahaha. That’s how we bond! We find happiness in food! Who cares we’re the beauties beyond fifties 🙂

My lucky lady at no 7 is a BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) graduate of University of San Agustin, Iloilo City, born September 18, 1962.

Wow blooming at 53!

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She lives in London, UK . She comes to Jeddah, every six months to visit her husband and her friends, she has only one very handsome son, who is currently studying Chemical Engineering in UK.

Sophie is a very devoted mother, her dreams revolves around her only son..

Do you have any other dream for yourself?

– of course I do! I like to travel around the world.

You travel a lot! isn’t it? how long you’ve worked as expatriates?

– I’ve been in Jeddah for 26 yrs, I travelled around the world but it’s like a working holiday. I would like to explore the world without thinking about work. I have worked hard and I would like to retire while I still have energy and can enjoy the scenery.

What is your motto in life?

“Dream big, work hard. Stay focused and surround yourself with good friends “

so7a

My friend Sophie is a very energetic woman, she exudes a happy-go-lucky attitude but beware when she is not in the mood, her tongue is like a sword that cut deep 🙂

We didn’t have enough time to do all the chitchat, I still have to go back to work after we did the impronto photo shoot. Hopefully , I will do another photo shoot when I have the chance to visit her in London.

Cheers,

jamilamimi

Just give me this day!

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how do I begin? the story of my rant..oh yeah, just give me this day! I usually forbids myself not to rant in writing but today is the day I like to ..

the moment I reached home today from walking 2 miles, not to mentioned carrying two heavy bags (lap top and personal ),I hurriedly open my notes and started writing what’s in my mind..before I blew myself up (of course! I’m exaggerating). Anyhow, this week at work was not different from last week, we were so busy, my appointments were fully booked. Am I complaining? of course not, no matter how difficult the task, no matter how difficult the case maybe or how difficult to manage the patient or the staff, I always reached the optimum result and I find satisfaction at the end. Nevertheless, I am not a super woman, yes I am passionate about my work, Dentistry in particular but being the Manager as well, at times it just hit me, what am I doing to myself?

Am I getting old? I know, Age has nothing to do with it! really? what about the aching body, heels pain, back pain, fingers numbing? named it, count it..and you can include your toes too! arms in limbo and eyes rolling 😉

And so, I came home late from hard days work, about to take a nap when I received a call that I have to go back to work and I did! after a while he asked me to do some task (not dentistry but secretarial stuff) I really don’t mind, I was working for him 27 years and he had help me a lot so I am just returning the favour. Enter another consultant (dummy owner) been bugging me to call technical support for company’s tax payment, I complied but hey! I took Dentistry not to meddle with mathematics (huh! that’s my Waterloo). Anyhow, alright cool down, I still have two college students, (I need my job.. got to do it)! I have patient’s in between, I haven’t had a break yet and paper works on the side? So I asked my staff to help me out, deadline Saturday!

Smile and the world will smile at you!DSC_5398mi

And finally, work done! started walking and I just realised I forgot my wallet (or no money to say the least) exaggerating again? nope! I only have ten riyals in my pocket and no taxi driver wanted to accept it.. what? they claimed ten riyals is not worth waiting in the traffic jam.Lucky me!

Some drivers were too polite to stop when they think I will cross the street but others were just so rude (honking) and impatient (rushing as if no pedestrian on the street ). Alright calm down (talking to myself), walking is good for the heart, oh yeah try it! wearing abaya (a black long dress required for ladies when in public) oh! well, the lap top bag looks like I am doing  weight lifting (dumbbells hello).

It was a long wait before I was able to cross the main road, while waiting, I noticed I was the only lady walking with two heavy hand bags on my hand. Two old men wearing nice suits, on my right and two middle-aged men wearing old shirt and jeans on my left and in front of me, was a young man in his thirties (maybe).

my thoughts..

hurray for this men, working hard for their families..

middle-aged woman walking alone..

age 55..working hard..

old woman family provider from day one..

mom be careful when you cross the street..you still have two sons waiting for you..

woman you’re not the only one.. a lot of OFW are working hard for their family..

a lot of irresponsible men out there..

selfish men..

to err is human or to err is woman..

huh! hmm.. (lip biting)

you’re not alone!

life goes on.. waiting for my day and I know sooner or later it will come..

So, thank you for giving me this day!

jamilamimi

 

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Roar and thoughts at 54

hello 54

hello 54

Back from hiatus of self-imposed seclusion! Wondering what’s happening around? The crackdown of illegal immigrants in Saudi Arabia,new rules in medical licensing and most of all, the super typhoon in Philippines in particular, having dreaded thoughts…what about if it was our island in the province of Catanduanes? Probably, the island with the entire population will disappear completely, Oh my! 😦

My heart goes out with the victims of Typhoon ” Yolanda”. The aftermath was disastrous and yet I saw in pictures the smiling faces of children, playing amidst the background of destructions and the adult as well, having good time watching the fight between Pacquiao and Rios. Their life goes on, surely the recovery will be slow and hard but as the saying goes… When there’s life, there’s hope and when there’s hope, coupled with will and determination, the journey is as gratifying as fulfilling when you get to your destination.

And with this thought, I have asked myself what are the things I learned after four years beyond fifty?

Beauty…

Well, beautybeyondfifty continues to roar, no matter how my belly button goes out of my pants, I will continue my gym work out every day. Though I gained weight, who cares? as long as I can move,dance and flex my muscles (muscles? do I have one? maybe fats!) 🙂

Wrinkles? yes! It’s becoming more noticeable but I am not bothered…keep on smiling at least I can say, that’s my “smile line” as opposed to say “my age line”, makes sense?

To reiterate once more, when you’re fifty and beyond it doesn’t mean you have to look like one, by all means look modestly younger than your age, believe me…it adds to your graceful exit in this world of ours!

Career…

My passion in Dentistry is still soaring high! I learned when you have the job you are passionate about, even when you are fifty and beyond, enthusiasm doesn’t goes away. I continued to push myself into a higher level if not into perfection.

Adult children…

I must admit, I miss the good old days when the children was preschoolers, when everything I say, they mimic my words, and actions, I remember their smile, their giggles and yet talking to them as an adult is fulfilling, I am proud to say I have raised two boys every parents would like to have!

I have learned to go with their dreams, with their passion and I love every minute of it.

Love and marriage…

I have learned the hard way… I have given so much love to the point there was nothing more to give! Marriage is not a barometer of true love, I knew there are couples who stayed together beyond 25th wedding anniversary or even more but secretly annoyed each other’s company. They profess their love in public or even post their happy family pictures in social media but they don’t even sleep in the same bedroom. However, it’s not my business! It takes two to tango and if you ask me which one to put in the marriage box? I would definitely say “respect”.

of being alone…

I have learned being alone is not sadness, it is “me time” I have time to pursue my other passion “photography”. I have more choices whether to stay in bed or see my friends, clean or read books, cook or buy food outside and many more!

Health…

Health is wealth: I agreed completely, without good health, the learning process for 54 yrs is nothing!

Knowing what I have been through, celebrating my 54th birthday is a privilege; this is the time of excitement; of looking forward of what will happen next, of moving forward, learning new things, meeting new people and who knows,what it might bring… a new beginning… a  new adventure to discover and explore life!

So ladies be happy..make some roar and keep smiling! 😉

Jamilamimi

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Just look into my eyes…

Is being alone synonymous to loneliness? Sometimes life is so hard when you are alone but sometimes life  is too good to be alone.sketcharabi1a

Just look into my eyes..tell me what you see…

emptiness…nothingness..

silence of my tears echoed my loneliness

but look again…feel my happiness

contentment is all that I seek for…fulfillment is what I look for

Just look into my eyes…

fill it with dreams…unlock the truth

fill my solitude…give me strength

take me into your heart…

your love is all what I needed the most

beyond misery…beyond loneliness…

just look into my eyes

beyond reasons…beyond life.

mi

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